Sometimes the world works in such odd ways. Just when you think it cannot get any worse it does and then just when you think it might all be over you catch a break. Today I found out I got a new job. Its my dream role but what has made it sweeter is my families reaction. They are so happy for me and so proud. These past few years have been so tough and although its been hard for me sometimes I think it is harder to witness. When I see my sister is poorly I melt I just want to make her safe and no one has been able to do that for me. My world crumbled around me and my health went from bad to worse. But through it all my family were there to pick up the pieces and pick me up literally. I know this sounds like a pity party but I do not feel sorry for myself. Although I hate my body sometimes and what it does I don't feel sorry for myself. How can I? I am surrounded by this amazing family full of people who love me and would do anything for me. If I was to call them at 1am they would come no questions. They are always there. They provide me with my backbone, they are my support system. As I continue on my journey to get better, to grow in confidence and regain myself they are there with me. I've hit a rough patch of late and I am faltering. Its a tough time being out of work and with no proper home I've started to fit daily this week. So when I rang them to tell them I've been offered my first proper full time job since my accident they were overjoyed and tears flowed. I am so full of love for them right now and am so grateful. I love my family and am not ashamed. I know I'm lucky. Lucky to be alive, lucky to have my parents, lucky to have my siblings but most of all I am lucky that they didn't give up on me as I wanted to. I think I get to be the favourite today!
Thursday, 30 April 2009
My world...
Sometimes the world works in such odd ways. Just when you think it cannot get any worse it does and then just when you think it might all be over you catch a break. Today I found out I got a new job. Its my dream role but what has made it sweeter is my families reaction. They are so happy for me and so proud. These past few years have been so tough and although its been hard for me sometimes I think it is harder to witness. When I see my sister is poorly I melt I just want to make her safe and no one has been able to do that for me. My world crumbled around me and my health went from bad to worse. But through it all my family were there to pick up the pieces and pick me up literally. I know this sounds like a pity party but I do not feel sorry for myself. Although I hate my body sometimes and what it does I don't feel sorry for myself. How can I? I am surrounded by this amazing family full of people who love me and would do anything for me. If I was to call them at 1am they would come no questions. They are always there. They provide me with my backbone, they are my support system. As I continue on my journey to get better, to grow in confidence and regain myself they are there with me. I've hit a rough patch of late and I am faltering. Its a tough time being out of work and with no proper home I've started to fit daily this week. So when I rang them to tell them I've been offered my first proper full time job since my accident they were overjoyed and tears flowed. I am so full of love for them right now and am so grateful. I love my family and am not ashamed. I know I'm lucky. Lucky to be alive, lucky to have my parents, lucky to have my siblings but most of all I am lucky that they didn't give up on me as I wanted to. I think I get to be the favourite today!
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Real life...
I have started fainting again.
I am scared.
I don't want to admit it
I don't want to admit defeat.
I am suffering
I need help.
But I will get help
and I will beat this.
I have to.
L.O.V.E...
This is quite simply the most beautiful website I have ever seen. With all this talk of love who cares if you are unemployed.
I've got to admit...
Denise looks lovely in her wedding dress. I love her hair band! I think they have the perfect beach look, casual elegance. I don't even mind her marrying Lee anymore as this picture is so lush.
Thursday, 23 April 2009
Not blogged in a while...
Mainly due to having a very painful kidney infection ow ow ow but also due to not having much to say. I must be ill that never happens.
Two things
1, I went to the Saatchi and loved these people
2, I saw Let The Right One In because my friend was ashamed of me for seeing Twilight and loving it. Now I liked this film a lot it was beautifully shot and a very clever idea. But it doesn't take away from the fact that I LOVE Twilight i simply adore it. Its love story is so huge and out of this world it draws me in and I'm a sucker. Also there isn't actually that much blood in Twilight not like this film which was bloody to say the least.
Two things
1, I went to the Saatchi and loved these people
2, I saw Let The Right One In because my friend was ashamed of me for seeing Twilight and loving it. Now I liked this film a lot it was beautifully shot and a very clever idea. But it doesn't take away from the fact that I LOVE Twilight i simply adore it. Its love story is so huge and out of this world it draws me in and I'm a sucker. Also there isn't actually that much blood in Twilight not like this film which was bloody to say the least.
Friday, 17 April 2009
Love love love...
So it has come to my attention (my boyfriend told me) that I use the word love way too much. I'm always in love with people, TV, places or clothing. Its always love and I always mean it. But am I simply short of adjectives or do I actually love everything?
Love a (1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2): attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests b: an assurance of love 2: warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
These are alternatives I could use -
I think I'm just enthusiastic. I see something and get way too excited and fall for it quickly. If I can't stop thinking about it I obsess and then yes say I love it. I don't love everything. I don't love Zac Efron, Glamour magazine or Lily Allen. I do love Russel Brand, Sex and the City and Britney. But these have been in my heart for ages they aren't just flash in the pans they run deep into my psyche. Yes I might be sad and just a girl but this is me. I will try and widen my vocabulary and mix it up but when I get excited and want people to know it I will be using the L word and yeah I will actually mean it.
Love a (1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
These are alternatives I could use -
| admire, adulate, be attached to, be captivated by, be crazy about, be enamored of, be enchanted by, be fascinated with, be fond of, be in love with, canonize, care for, cherish, choose, deify, delight in, dote on, esteem, exalt, fall for, fancy, glorify, go for*, gone on, have affection for, have it bad, hold dear, hold high, idolize, long for, lose one's heart to, prefer, prize, put on pedestal, think the world of, thrive with, treasure, venerate, wild for, worship |
| |
Me me me...
This has been doing the rounds and I'm feeling self indulgent
What’s the last thing you read or are currently reading?
I'm reading Twilight at the moment. Cliche I know but I have read it before and I forgot how much I do actually love it before the series goes all crazy and werewolves aplenty.
Do you nap a lot?
Not really I try to sometimes but it never really works.
Who was the last person you hugged?
my lovely sister Jade
What’s your current obsession/addiction?
coffee, coffee and more coffee
What are you wearing right now?
my blue H&M nurses dress
What was for dinner?
breakfast...was porridge oats and bananas and of course coffee
What have you been listening to lately?
Oasis and Britney
If you could have any super power, what would it be?
Fly got to be Peter Petrelli
What is your favorite weather, and why?
Sunny sunny summer days
What was the last thing you bought?
Salad yesterday for my tea
Say something about the person who tagged you:
they are beautiful
If you could have a house- totally paid for, fully furnished- anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be?
New York City
Favorite vacation spot?
New York
Favorite pair of shoes you keep going back to over and over, even though your closet is overflowing with a zillion others?
Black flats with a gold buckle I can't get enough of them
Name one thing you cannot live without.
coffee
If you could wake up anywhere tomorrow, where would it be?
Paris
What’s the last thing you read or are currently reading?
I'm reading Twilight at the moment. Cliche I know but I have read it before and I forgot how much I do actually love it before the series goes all crazy and werewolves aplenty.
Do you nap a lot?
Not really I try to sometimes but it never really works.
Who was the last person you hugged?
my lovely sister Jade
What’s your current obsession/addiction?
coffee, coffee and more coffee
What are you wearing right now?
my blue H&M nurses dress
What was for dinner?
breakfast...was porridge oats and bananas and of course coffee
What have you been listening to lately?
Oasis and Britney
If you could have any super power, what would it be?
Fly got to be Peter Petrelli
What is your favorite weather, and why?
Sunny sunny summer days
What was the last thing you bought?
Salad yesterday for my tea
Say something about the person who tagged you:
they are beautiful
If you could have a house- totally paid for, fully furnished- anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be?
New York City
Favorite vacation spot?
New York
Favorite pair of shoes you keep going back to over and over, even though your closet is overflowing with a zillion others?
Black flats with a gold buckle I can't get enough of them
Name one thing you cannot live without.
coffee
If you could wake up anywhere tomorrow, where would it be?
Paris
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