Welcome back...

I could not be more excited about the comeback of Miss Britney Spears. I think she is incredible. And the fact that she has been able to come back from such a breakdown shows her strength and determination. She's going to be on X Factor this weekend and I know she's going to be AMAZING! Her documentary is on Sky One on Monday and will open a door into her world. I do not think it will all be pretty but it will be honest. She looks beautiful on this Rolling Stone cover. She is the pop star of this generation and I think she is simply Fabulous. Go Britney!!

Creative juices...

So I went out for dinner last night with some fellow jewellers and it got me thinking how lazy I've become. I haven't made any jewellery for so long. Of course there is always excuses...no time...no money...no tools. But seriously what am I doing! I learnt these amazing skills and now I don't use them. Yeah i need money so I do a proper job but i should have never st oped creating. I love it. I love everything about it. I love having a sketchbook brimming with ideas. I love realising I can make what I'm trying to draw in wire. I love the freedom I have that i can create whimsical pieces.

I think I got bitter when I finished university. I got a good mark but was so close to a better one and all I could think was what if? What it I wasn't ill what could I have achieved...

My work developed over such a dark period of my life. My sadness pours out of. But its a testament to that time and my strength and determination.


Now I no longer just see darkness, now I can see the world again. I see a lot of possibilities.

So its about time I started achieving...

OMG!!

...Brandon is back!

The most exciting Christmas advert yet...

OH MY GOD! Its perfection!

Once upon a time...

There was a girl who fell in love
She fell deeply
She fell hard
She fell fast

She got burnt
and it hurt

Hurt took over the love

She grew angry
She grew bitter
She grew numb

Time passed

She doesn't recognise that girl anymore
The young girl who gave away her heart

But there is a new girl now

A strong girl
A brave girl

A girl who is starting to open up again

No longer numb
She can smile
She can laugh
And she can remember the good times

She has come a long way

Lace and pearls...

So I've had such a busy time of late. My friend from Wales came to stay and then my parents where here which means I have had no free time. Today though and from now on I have loads of it as i no longer have a job. I want to use my time wisely and make things and create. I want to try and earn some money. But I know I will like today waste my time on the Internet and drinking coffee...

Things not to do in my unemployment phase

Go for coffee - I cannot afford to waste the money on yummy lattes.
Use the tube - see above without the yummy.
Buy magazines pretending they are for research - although saving money I could go to Borders and read them all for free but it would be rude not to buy a coffee.
Spend hours on Facebook - self explanatory.
Read old emails - You will find one from an ex and yes, they still cut into all the old wounds.
Make play lists to work to - this results in hours looking for songs and then downloading to create the perfect mix.
Plan my birthday - It's in April no need!

Things to actually do

Cycle everywhere
Draw and Create
Make a new range of jewellery
Make all my Christmas presents and cards
Go to free exhibitions for inspiration
and last but not least try and get a part time job

Had the..

Most fun on Halloween though i think dressing up was the best bit!!


It did make me realise how much i love my friends though and my new housemates!! Mixing groups is always tricky but it went so well! LOVE it!

xoxo

A slight over reaction...

I listen to Russell Brand every week, i find him funny, charming, wild but intelligent. Yes he over stepped the mark but he said sorry and that should be the end of it. I find it so sad that the general public, whose outrage over the incident only developed days after the event, have driven away a great British talent. The tabloids built Russell up as a sexual, provocative figure. We laughed along as he joked about his past and his bedroom antics and now we have tore him down. People should be allowed to make mistakes. If he goes to America and doesn't come back it will be our loss. Who is going to make me laugh now...?

I'm actually...

...falling in love with Chuck Bass...

But so it seems is the rest of the world...

Models...

We had a women's casting today at work and i sat there surrounded by these beautiful, skinny girls who were all angles and limbs, stunning. And as i sat amongst them they were moaning about needing to go to weight watchers but not being allowed in. Now i know models need to be skinny as the camera does add pounds. But it just makes you think that the people you think are perfect all have there own body hang ups too and no body is perfect. Models get airbrushed to pieces but they are human too and today they made me feel better about my self.

The first item on my christmas list...

If there is a more perfect book in the world i have yet to find it...but i bet they don't taste the same.

OMG...

This is like the best tea mug ever plus the copy is perfect too! I'm getting it!

New flat...

So I've moved into my new flat today and its very exciting. It is such a nice room and makes me want all pretty things to decorate it. I think I'm going to paint it only white but freshen it up. And then get excited about what i can buy to make the most of the room...

In a dream world i would get thisBut in the meantime i will settle for filling my UO frames and trying to find this print to go above my fireplace


So many pretty things so little time...

Saturday morning...

Saw the Christmas display in John Lewis yesterday and I'm fine with them putting there displays up in October as i love Christmas but upside Christmas trees is just never going to work.

I'm going to see Rothko at the Tate later with Lucy my new partner in cultural activities. I'm actually more excited to see the paintings than i was to see the new Jewellery at the V&A...I wonder what this means for my jewellery future...

If i was rich...

I'd buy this ... just for the memories.

Spoilt or Privileged..?

Sometimes it takes a moment to make you realise how lucky you are. I hate that sort of statement normally and i do not normally feel like that. Even though i am a very positive person about everybody else, about my own situation i do not always see the positive. The other day my dad did something that just compounded how completely amazing he is and how loved and supported I am and it just overwhelmed me. I do not see myself as a spoilt brat who gets whatever she asks for and cries when she doesn't get her way. I see myself as someone who has gone though a tough time and whose parents have stood by her and have done everything in there power both emotionally and financially to support her. Maybe some people couldn't but my parents can and i do feel guilty but they wouldn't do it if they couldn't or didn't want to. It is hard to take so much from my parents but I am in no position to say no and refuse there help. Without there help i wouldn't be here today and without there continued support i wouldn't be able to carry on trying to get my life back together. When your life stops for over a year, a year of no working no nothing you need to be able to ask for help. and if you cant ask your parents for help when the chips are down then who can you ask. I sat on the tube the other day with tears running down my face as i thought of all the help my parents have given me over the last 2 years when they probably thought they wouldn't need to anymore I'm supposed to be an adult. But life is unpredictable and the fact that I'm still here fighting to live another day is a testament to my parents because without them i would be nothing i might as well still be at the bottom of that lake.

One of my idols...

"Elegance does not consist of having a new dress"

Coco Chanel

I'm becoming more and more obbessed with pearls. There is this new double strand pearl headband at Urban i want. I just want loads of pearls to layer them up a la Coco. Of course the dream is to own a Chanel Bag but until that day i will be content with my pearls.



I dream of having her elegance and drama. The pearls i want most in the world are the giant Lavin pearls that Carrie wears in the SATC movie.


I actually think i'm in the perfect business at the moment as i do love fashion so much and all i did all day today was sort out clothes. Perfect.

Frank Gerhy...Genuis?

So i went to see this finally with Lucy and it was AMAZING! It was such a sunny day and walking through Hyde Park to get to it i felt like i was about to discover something marvellous and true to form Gerhy didn't disappoint. It's unusual for him to build in wood as normally he works in aluminium and you attach his works with smooth lines, polish. steel and curves. So this was a refreshing change. it was nice to be able to sit there with a cup of tea and just take it in, in your own time. I think it would change at night as well under the stars and in the rain it would be almost magical. I'm going to try and go back next time I'm near. Its his first build in the UK and its just made me fall in love with his designs even more. Worth going that extra mile for him don't you agree...?

I really want...

Oh my god I'm having to control myself so much. My whole life well ever since i was 16 i have wanted to own a pair of Vivienne Westwood shoes and now we have these at Urban and i have to tell myself that even with the discount i still cant afford them! Too much money to spend on shoes. But one day i will own them. They are perfection.

Home is where the heart is..?

I like where i grew up. It's very fashionable now to trash where I came from and say its a dump. But i love it. I loved growing up by the seaside. I love the tacky amusements and the fair. I love the country on our backdoor. I love the fresh air and i love the feeling of freedom i get when i stand on the prom and feel the sea air on my face. I wouldn't change where i come from for anything, it makes you who you are. So i do still like to go home. I get excited even every time i approach. Maybe it's knowing I'm going to a loving family home. Maybe its knowing my friends are amazing and will always have time to see me. Maybe its the memories. I just love it simple as. And i hate feeling the need to justify to people why I'm coming home. yeah London is great its exciting, its vibrant and life never stops. But home is special. I feel safe. I feel cosy. I feel 100% loved. It's all very good going into the world and living your life but every once in a while i need to stop for a second and remember where i came from and how lucky i am.

My dream...

So i can not actually contain my excitement i have just heard that Johnny Depp is going to play the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. i can not imagine a more perfect role and a more perfect film. the set design is going to be awe inspiring! OMG i am so excited already!! 

I heart...

I want the SATC DVD so much but cant afford it right now and never buy myself dvds! but oh my gosh how much do i wanna see the extended footage. I know not everyone loved the movie but i did and the fashion alone is reason enough to own the DVD. I want all the bridal couture and the Lavin giant pearls...sigh.

UPDATE: So i have the best sister in the world ever. Without even seeing this Blog or me even going on about it that much she sent it me in the post!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! So so excited! just having it in my hands i feel better! I wonder how many times i will watch it considering i saw it 3 times in the cinema! yep i'm a SATC geek i know but i dont care i LOVE it!

In 24 hours...

24 hours of my life is so varied at the moment and can be so manic. In the last 24 hours I've been so mad busy at work my eyes actually hurt from the whirl of many a designer item I've labelled up to go to the shoot tomorrow. I spent an hour shopping in Boutique though nothing was for me. I've drooled over the new Patricia Field collection for m&s of all places. I was going to go on a bike ride then i changed my mind. There was an earthquake in Rhyl which is the most random of all. I saw Chuck Bass in Glamour this morning and realised i loved him and i have done for a while he is my new TV top crush. I'm going to go watch Lost in Austen tonight with the Wales which is all very exciting. All of this does make me sound quite shallow i am aware but please allow me this as all this goes one whilst i constantly think and have to question myself am i OK? am i feeling OK? i really cant wait for the day when i don't think I'm going to faint again. I had never fainted in my life before all this so now its just weird to me when i get hot or don't eat enough that i might just fall down. I just cant fall down in everyday life. But yeah every 24 hours at the moment so busy so much fun my brain hurts... xoxo